Explore if opposites truly attract in relationships and how they can complement each other
(ANN/THE DAILY STAR) – Have you ever been attracted to someone very different from you? Despite being shy and creative, you might find yourself drawn to outgoing, athletic types, or enjoy going out while your partner prefers quiet nights in.
This idea that opposites attract is a common theme in romance, seen in stories like Belle and the Beast or in romantic comedies where the studious student falls for the class clown.
However, psychologists and relationship experts say the truth is more nuanced: opposites can both complement and challenge each other.
When we dug a little deeper, we learned from the intellectual and candid Faiza Tasnim Zaman her experience.
“Opposites do attract! See, in a relationship, two people can contribute diversity and fresh ideas, which can help keep the excitement going. Being opposite simply adds a spark you didn’t know existed!” stated Zaman.
“In my relationship, it has allowed us to explore and attempt unfamiliar things, which has always been intriguing and enjoyable. We’re continuously adding new things to each other’s life, which I believe is extremely special.”
A study in Developmental Psychology of 1,965 long-term couples found that opposites attract, possibly because individuals seek partners who complement their own characteristics.
This desire for balance can lead to harmonious relationships where partners support, improve, and surprise each other, often resulting in a lovely, exciting, and passionate bond.
“In my relationship, my girlfriend and I have many significant differences. She is more emotionally expressive than me. I’m quite low-key and don’t express what I feel often,” explained 23-year-old Mahdir Islam.
“It helps in a way because if she was like me in terms of emotions, the relationship between us would be quite dull. She makes the relationship quite lively!”
But what happens when opposites do not really attract? Could you imagine being with someone who is an embodiment of everything you are not?
When asked, undergraduate student Protyasha Chowdhury, stressed, “If two people are not similar, the relationship won’t sustain in the long run because there won’t be compatibility. You need compatibility on a psychological, mental, and even a spiritual level.
“If that isn’t in the relationship, one of them tries too hard to make things work and compromise to the point that they lose themselves and their self-respect.”
Research suggests that while opposites may initially attract, this attraction may be more fleeting than enduring.
Initially, the excitement of experiencing something different can be thrilling, but as a relationship progresses, differences may become more pronounced, potentially leading to heartbreak.
In 2013, eHarmony’s dating site matching technology found that long-term relationships were more likely to develop between people with similar attributes rather than those with polar opposite personalities.
Sharing this sentiment, soft-spoken Tanzidur Rahman Nakshatra expressed, “Being a shy, introverted person, I was really drawn to someone who had exceptional interpersonal abilities.
“However, it did not work out as I anticipated since her goals, ambitions, and expectations did not match what I had to offer.
“Long-term relationships, in my opinion, benefit from a combination of two people’s personalities and similar mentalities and compatibility.”
Humans seek compatibility in areas like age, religion, education, and hobbies. When your partner doesn’t share your passions, it can lead to melancholy and jealousy.
Dating your opposite can bring perspective and creativity, but major disagreements may end the relationship. Ultimately, it’s about how they make you feel—if they bring you joy, dating your opposite could be right for you.
