ANN/THE STAR – I always have a great time when I’m with like-minded friends who aren’t afraid to embrace a bit of playful fun. We can even act a little quirky and laugh it off with a gentle excuse: ‘not guilty by reason of age’.
Perhaps it’s something in the durians from Yong Peng, where I live, that sparks this boldness for lighthearted absurdities – capturing the charming, carefree spirit of the Boomer generation. Who knows?
I am always looking for something that spurs, stirs, and reverberates within me. I think it is called, fun – perhaps even levity. It helps to loosen the grip on life, stay open, and feel engaged. If there’s a common trait among us, it is the desire to be happy, to be kind, and gentle with ourselves. Boomers want midlife to stretch forevermore, or at least into our eighties or more.
More often than not, it’s the simple things that make us happy. By smiling at the people we meet, and by going out of our way to applaud each other, we receive the extra boost and jaunty sangfroid, to get over the humps of each day. Helping others go through a period of profound sadness and heartache, creates a meaningful experience.
The beauty of human connection is in the daily positive interactions with others such as giving sincere compliments, and sharing kind words with strangers – that could change their day. Do invest in good feelings, fleeting as they are. For our own mental health, it is wise to mix with people whose approach to life is spontaneously optimistic.
ENJOY THE GOODNESS IN LIFE
Gracious living is learning to enjoy the goodness of life, and accept the sufferings that come unbidden. We need to equip our mind with Teflon resilience so that we can be strong in the broken places.
Beyond midlife, our bodies become less efficient, less obedient, and our memory power declines. The little losses are the signs of the times, but there is always more than one way to look at life.
As baby boomers, we are the trailblazers of ageing well. And yet, each time I need to do online applications to renew or update a document, I lose some precious brain cells. Our hard won wisdom seems incongruous with the pace of AI. Now, you’d be cranky too. It’s no wonder that mental health issues are given priority nowadays.
Stumbling after technology aside, the emotional parts of ageing can be sobering, even cringe-worthy. Nothing makes you feel older than having nieces and nephews in their forties and fifties. No matter how young you may look or feel, having a 40-year-old child, speaks for your age. However, I happily call that a blessing for having lasted so long in an overwhelming world.
That said, seniors need to have some savings to be happy. No one can feel relaxed with money worries. Giving creates joy but even generosity requires money. So the key to living with dignity is to save right and spend smart. Guilt-free splurging is reserved for celebrations and red-letter days.
Taking the bold step of showing up each day with good thoughts. Your inner reserve of joy may be replenished and preserved so that you don’t disintegrate or crumble on sudden impact with bad news.
If you want to be strong, you must be ready to face challenges, to adapt, and go with the flow. The ability to be reflective can act as a balm to difficult feelings, and a tool to boost mental fortitude. Do whatever works for you as long as it helps to lift you out of the doldrums.
I take my bicycle for a spin in the early morning. Cycling down an incline at a familiar stretch of road leading to the neighbourhood park, I let go of the pedals, and enjoy free-wheeling down the slope. Wowee! Releasing the ‘wild side’ in me makes me feel so alive.
Ah, “over the hill” can be really cool.
Another way to have a microdose of fun is to blow bubbles or play hide-and-seek with my grandkids – grandma just wanna have fun – erupting in shrieking laughter and making happy noise. It’s exhilarating and great bonding with the little ones, like receiving a second wind.
We can stave off age-related fallibilities by adopting mindset change. Embracing a youthful mindset means you maintain the quality of your imagination, the alertness of mind, and the passion to experience new places and people. It’s about investing in yourself, staying socially engaged, and the abandoning of fear.
While many of us are agonising over the outward signs of ageing, we should be more concerned about staying spiffy, spunky, sane, and spry. If you surround yourself with silver-haired sirens who are gungho about life, the enthusiasm spills over, and you will forget what was gnawing you in the first place.
NEWFOUND CONFIDENCE
One of the upsides of growing older is that we don’t care so much about what others think of us – it shows we have enough self-confidence and self-regard not to be rattled by trivialities.
Having the ability to laugh at ourselves means we have warmth and humanity. I don’t mind acting like the village crank so long as I get to create opportunities for joy and laughter.
Relishing fun makes living each day worthwhile and meaningful. To achieve this, you need to release yourself of unnecessary responsibilities and senseless obligations. Lighter things further by letting go of anxieties, and giving in to little adventures and harmless mischief.
Sometimes you get a kick out of life by choosing to age outrageously. Tame or titillating – I agonise at the lingerie boutique – naughty or nice. Purchasing them brightens my day like savouring a secret.
Be engaged with the essence of your being to live more passionately. The late American novelist Ernest M Hemingway, had this to say: “Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might.”
Worth a try, right? The very idea of living fully could indeed prompt us to persist and flourish. – Mary Eu
