How to care for others without burning yourself out
The world can feel like a never-ending newsreel of doom. Whether you’re glued to your smart TV or swiping through your device, it’s a constant feed of death, destruction, and disaster. And let’s be honest, it’s overwhelming.
With all that chaos swirling around us, it’s natural to feel a surge of empathy – that unique human ability to share in others’ suffering. It’s what makes us relatable to one another, transcending race, gender, and creed.
Sure, we’ve all got our own quirks based on geography and culture, but some things are universal, and one of those things is empathy.
But, dear readers, as much as empathy is a beautiful part of being human, it’s also a bit of a double-edged sword.
Yes, it’s only natural to want to help, to ease the pain of others, but here’s where things get tricky – there are times when helping can actually do more harm than good.
So, how do we navigate this emotional tightrope without falling face-first into burnout or, worse, unintentionally making things worse for those we’re trying to help?
Well, it all starts with managing your empathy – and that means taking care of yourself before you can care for others.
THE OVERDRIVE MODE
Empathy is a great thing, but it can also drive us straight into emotional overdrive. Think of it like a car engine. Too much gas and not enough oil? Well, you’re going to have a meltdown on the highway.
Your emotional engine is no different. Pouring all your energy into others while ignoring your own needs can leave you emotionally and physically drained.
And let’s be honest – you’re not much good to anyone if you’re running on empty.
It’s hard to say “no” when you care deeply about people. Whether it’s a friend going through a breakup, a co-worker battling stress, or even an Internet stranger in a situation that tugs at your heartstrings – it’s easy to let yourself get caught up in their emotions.
And suddenly, you’re carrying not only your own weight but also everyone else’s.
You may not realise it, but without proper boundaries, empathy can start to feel more like emotional baggage.
PUT THE OXYGEN MASK ON YOURSELF FIRST
I’m sure most of us are familiar with the flight safety announcement, “In case of an emergency, put your oxygen mask on first before assisting others.”
Well, the same standard operating procedure applies to empathy. You can’t help someone else breathe if you’re gasping for air yourself.
If you don’t prioritise self-care, even the best of intentions can backfire.
The longer you put others’ needs ahead of your own, the closer you get to burnout. Instead of being the hero, you might unintentionally add to the chaos. And nobody wants that.
This isn’t about being selfish; it’s about sustainability. You have to take care of your mental, emotional, and physical well-being first if you want to offer meaningful support to others.
Imagine trying to comfort someone when you’re so frazzled you can’t even remember where you left your car keys. Not very helpful, right?
So, before you dive headfirst into someone else’s emotional ocean, take a moment to check in with yourself. Run a little mental inventory – ask yourself how you’re feeling and what you need – so you can offer support from a place of strength, not survival.
THE EMPATHY SWEET SPOT
Striking a balance between empathy and self-preservation is key to avoiding emotional overload. It’s about recognising when your empathy gauge is running low and knowing when to take a step back. Here’s how you can do that:
SET BOUNDARIES LIKE A PRO
To prevent empathy burnout, set clear emotional boundaries. This doesn’t mean you stop caring – it just means you decide how much of your energy to give. Saying “no” doesn’t make you a bad person; it makes you a balanced one.
PRACTICE EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT
Emotional detachment isn’t about shutting off your feelings, but about observing a situation without getting tangled in it. Think of it like watching a TV show: you can feel for the characters, but you’re not jumping in to fix their problems.
SCHEDULE ‘YOU’ TIME
Regularly carve out time for yourself, whether it’s taking a walk, diving into a hobby or binge-watching a series guilt-free. You wouldn’t neglect charging your phone, so don’t neglect recharging yourself.
KNOW WHEN TO STEP BACK
Sometimes, the best way to help is to step back and let others handle their own problems. Trust that people are resilient and capable of solving things themselves.
Empathy doesn’t mean neglecting yourself. By managing it well, you can help others from a place of strength, not exhaustion. – Wardi Wasil
