In Brunei Darussalam, life often follows a rhythm deeply rooted in tradition and societal norms. It’s a sense of existence we all carry within ourselves, guiding our interactions both within our community and with people from other nations.
Central to this is hawar galat, a Malay Bruneian philosophy meaning “shy and bashful,” which in essence, is an extreme form of courteousness. However, for many of us, it also implies avoiding being a burden or a nuisance.
While this philosophy fosters a harmonious social environment, it also aligns with the concept of the “path of least resistance.”
Consider a scenario familiar to many Bruneians: a child receiving criticism from a parent. The child, ingrained with the principle, remains silent, absorbing the criticism without protest.
While this may seem respectful, it denies the child an opportunity to express their feelings, share their perspective, and potentially foster a more understanding and supportive family dynamic.
Similarly, in the workplace, an employee might receive an excessive workload from a superior. Adhering to the path of least resistance, the employee quietly accepts the tasks, fearing that speaking up might be seen as a lack of cooperation or respect.
Over time, this can lead to burnout, reduced productivity, and a strained relationship between the employee and employer.
Our people are indeed known for their shy nature and the path of least resistance is a concept many of us encounter daily. It’s the tendency to avoid confrontation, minimise conflict, and choose the easiest route to maintain peace.
Though it encourages community, in our post-pandemic world, this mind-set can be detrimental as blurred lines between work and personal life have left many in a survival mode, where avoiding conflict and inconvenience can lead to greater stress and inefficiency.
It’s crucial to understand that choosing the path of least resistance is not always the best solution. While it may avoid immediate conflict, it can also perpetuate a cycle of unaddressed issues and hidden frustrations.
The cultural emphasis on not causing discomfort to others should not come at the expense of our own well-being and growth.
The question then arises: how do we honour our cultural values while also recognising and addressing the limitations they may impose on our ability to thrive? To navigate this delicate balance, consider the following tips:
Communicate respectfully
When expressing concerns or needs, approach the conversation with respect and empathy. Frame your thoughts in a way that acknowledges the other person’s perspective while clearly stating your own.
Set boundaries
Understand and communicate your limits. Setting boundaries is not about being uncooperative; it’s about ensuring you can perform at your best without compromising your well-being.
Seek understanding
Engage in open dialogues where all parties can share their views. This fosters mutual understanding and can lead to more collaborative solutions.
Practice self-reflection
Regularly reflect on your feelings and experiences. Recognising your own needs and emotions is the first step in effectively communicating them to others.
Encourage constructive feedback
Create environments, whether at home or work, where feedback is seen as a tool for growth rather than criticism. This shifts the focus from blame to improvement.
Ultimately, whether you choose the path of least resistance or not, the reality is that both paths may lead to a bitter outcome: one is a poison you refuse to spit out, and the other is an opportunity to remedy the situation. Choose wisely. – WARDI WASIL
