As we commemorate the International Day of the Girl Child, celebrated annually on October 11, I can’t help but reminisce about those carefree days spent with my girl cousins at our grandparents’ home, where our laughter echoed as we dreamt about becoming doctors, lawyers, and more.
The warmth of the sun illuminated our innocent ambitions, casting long shadows that mirrored the weight of reality looming ahead.
While today’s world promotes equality, the stark truth remains: countless girls still face barriers that stifle their dreams and potential.
This day serves as a poignant reminder of the challenges and possibilities inherent in girlhood, urging us to champion their voices and aspirations.
INTERNATIONAL DAY OF THE GIRL CHILD 2024
In his message for the International Day of the Girl Child 2024, United Nations (UN) Secretary-General António Guterres highlighted the urgent need to recognise and nurture the immense potential of over 1.1 billion girls worldwide.
He said, “The potential of the world’s more than 1.1 billion girls is limitless,” yet as the 2030 deadline for achieving the Sustainable Development Goals approaches, he lamented that “the world continues to fail girls.”
Guterres outlined the stark challenges girls face globally, noting that they account for over 70 per cent of new adolescent HIV infections, revealing significant health disparities.
Educational opportunities remain elusive, with girls almost twice as likely as boys to miss out on education or training.
Furthermore, child marriage persists, with approximately one in five girls married before age 18, highlighting enduring social barriers.
He warned of a troubling regression in the fight for gender equality, as hard-won gains are being erased, restricting women’s choices and endangering their futures.
The theme for this year, ‘Girls’ Vision for the Future’, reflects a call to action, urging attention to what girls envision for themselves.
“Girls already have a vision of a world where they can thrive,” he emphasised, asserting their active role in shaping a brighter future. Guterres called for collective action, praising girls’ resilience and determination, and urging the global community to support their dreams.
“It is time for the world to step up and help transform their vision into reality,” he declared, underscoring the importance of creating a future where girls can truly thrive.
RAISING CONFIDENT GIRLS IN A DIGITAL WORLD
In Brunei Darussalam, it is evident that many millennial and Gen X parents are redefining the way they raise and empower their daughters, blending modern ideals with cultural and religious values to steer through the unique challenges of today’s world.
With the rise of digital influence and societal pressures, these parents are acutely aware of the need to instil confidence and resilience in their girls from an early age.
The Bulletin spoke with three parents to gain insight into their approaches to raising and empowering their daughters in today’s ever-evolving world.
Hajah Siti Hairaney @ Irene binti Haji Awang Shahri, an Education Officer at the Institute of Brunei Technical Education School of Building Technology Services and mother of two – a daughter and a son who are both in their teens – reflected on the shifting dynamics of gender roles.
“The challenges my daughter faces are often emotional,” she said. “Today, even her male friends engage in activities traditionally deemed ‘feminine’, like playing netball or performing K-pop dances. This blurring of lines shows that participation doesn’t equate to equality.”
Irene believes in the power of women’s empowerment and emphasises the importance of striving for excellence.
“It doesn’t matter if others are doing the same things; aim to stand out. When you give your all, your efforts shine.”
Currently, her daughter is pursuing her studies in hospitality, a field often dominated by men, and Irene encourages her to embrace her passions, whether in art or any other pursuit.
“Women have a unique perspective; we think outside the box. It’s about pushing beyond limits.”
As a single mother for the past eight years, Irene always reassures her daughter with the words, “You’ll always have me.”
She instils the belief that being a woman is not a limitation.
“I might not provide everything, but our lives aren’t incomplete. It’s about the essence of who I am and how I provide for them.”
Since her daughter was young, Irene has taught her to believe in herself, know her rights, and speak up when it matters, reinforcing that voicing one’s thoughts is powerful.
Meanwhile, Kamaliah Osman, a mother of three, shared her insights on raising empowered daughters in today’s complex world.
“Today’s young girls face immense pressure for validation,” Kamaliah said.
“The constant bombardment of social media can make it challenging for them to feel secure in themselves.
“Our daughters, aged 11 and eight, are constantly exposed to trends and beauty standards that leave them feeling overwhelmed. We encourage them to do their own research and to approach the information with curiosity and caution. Questions are always welcome, no matter how uncomfortable the topic.”
With a clear vision, Kamaliah’s youngest daughter aims to become a construction engineer, determined to create homes for the underprivileged.
“It’s crucial to support her aspirations without reinforcing gender stereotypes,” she asserted. “We introduce her to various branches of engineering and connect her with women in the field to inspire her journey.”
At home, Kamaliah fosters an environment where her daughters feel safe to express their emotions and set boundaries.
“We role-play scenarios to empower them, teaching them to say no and advocate for themselves,” she said. “Respect is mutual, and we encourage compliments within boundaries, promoting a culture of appreciation.”
Teaching her daughters about their rights is integral to Kamaliah’s parenting.
“We engage in discussions about boundaries and consent, ensuring they know their feelings are valid,” she said.
“By involving them in decision-making and encouraging them to voice their opinions, we nurture their confidence. I want them to grow into strong leaders who understand their worth and the simplicity of Islam.”
Kamaliah’s commitment to raising resilient, self-assured daughters reflects her desire to provide the supportive upbringing she wishes she had received herself.
“Children, after all, are reflections of their parents,” she added.
I have also been observing millennial and Gen X “girl dads” who have embraced nurturing parenting, fostering their daughters’ independence and encouraging them to defy societal norms, setting a positive example unlike traditional expectations for boys.
Yazid, a proud “girl dad”, who is also a colleague of mine, is clear on his approach of nurturing a strong sense of kindness and self-belief in his young daughter.
“She’s still so little, so I don’t push her towards anything specific,” he shared, “but I show her the value of kindness and encourage her to pursue what she loves. If something seems off, I’ll step in, but mostly I want her to feel confident exploring her interests.”
Reflecting on Brunei’s changing landscape, Yazid noted the rise of women in leadership, sports, and corporate spaces.
“I’m hopeful for her future here; opportunities for women are growing. All I can do is believe in her and let her find her path.”
With a lineage of strong women – her grandmother, mother, and aunt – his daughter is surrounded by inspiring role models.
“They’re all confident and vocal about what matters,” he said proudly, leaving him with little concern about her resilience. When it comes to education, Yazid isn’t fixated on prestigious schools but believes in nurturing character at home.
“Ultimately, it’s about us as parents teaching her values. Schools play a part, but kindness, integrity, and self-belief come from home.”
As the International Day of the Girl Child reminds us, empowering girls is a collective journey, woven through family values, cultural shifts, and the evolving roles of parents.
In Brunei and beyond, parents like Irene, Kamaliah and Yazid are raising daughters to be compassionate, confident, and courageous in a world full of both opportunity and challenge.
As the UN Secretary-General António Guterres called for global action, it’s clear that real change begins at home. – Izah Azahari
