Remember when making friends was as easy as swapping a biscuit at lunch or bonding over a shared hatred for long division?
Well, somewhere between getting a full-time job, worrying about bills, and pretending to enjoy kale, making friends as an adult became… a bit of a faff.
But fear not! If you’re wondering how to expand your social circle without looking like a lost puppy at a dinner party, read on.
JOIN A HOBBY GROUP (EVEN IF YOU’RE TERRIBLE AT IT!)
One of the best ways to meet people is to find an activity you enjoy – or at least pretend to enjoy until you get good at it.
A friend reintroduced Pokemon Go to me and now I’ve rekindled old friendships and made new friends bonding over what new shiny Pokemon they’ve caught that week – even if I’m still clueless when it comes to raids and such.
Sports clubs, book groups, knitting circles, even a class on making the perfect sourdough – they all provide excellent opportunities to meet like-minded (or equally hopeless) people.
The key is consistency. The more you show up, the more familiar you become, and before you know it, someone’s inviting you for post-class coffee.
SAY YES MORE OFTEN (WITHIN REASON!) AND MAKE THE FIRST MOVE
If you get invited somewhere – even if it’s a ‘Paint Your Pet’ evening and you don’t own a pet – just go. Saying yes to new experiences can open doors to friendships you never expected. You don’t have to be the life of the party – just showing up is half the battle.
As children, making friends was effortless. You’d spot a kid on the swings, shout “Can I have a go?”, and boom – friendship sealed.
As adults, it’s trickier. You can’t just walk up to a fellow coffee shop regular and say, “I like your energy. Let’s be friends.” (Well, you can, but be prepared for a polite nod and a slow retreat).
Instead, take baby steps. Compliment someone’s book choice, ask about their hiking boots, or comment on the café’s dodgy Wi-Fi. The best friendships often start with small, everyday conversations.
USE SOCIAL MEDIA (WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A STALKER OF COURSE)
The Internet isn’t just for watching cat videos at 2am – it’s also great for making real-life connections.
Join local Facebook groups, follow community events, or even try apps designed for making friends (yes, those exist!).
A person once slid in my DMs to ask about a game I had randomly tried and posted. We’ve talked and hung out a lot ever since. Moreover, as I mentioned earlier, sometimes making new friends is as simple as reconnecting with old ones. Life gets busy, people move, and suddenly it’s been five years since you last spoke. But a quick “Hey, I saw this and thought of you!” text can be all it takes to reignite a friendship.
Of course, some friendships fade for a reason – like that mate who borrowed your favourite jacket in 2012 and never gave it back. In those cases, perhaps it’s best to let sleeping frenemies lie.
BE A GOOD FRIEND FIRST
Friendship isn’t just about finding people who’ll listen to your work rants and tag you in memes. It’s a two-way street. Check in on people, remember their birthdays, and show up when it matters.
A friend once turned up at my door with biscuits after a particularly disastrous date – and just like that, I knew she was a keeper. The more you invest in people, the more they’ll invest in you.
Not every attempt at making friends will work out – and that’s okay.
Friendship, like anything worthwhile, takes effort. But with a little courage, a bit of patience, and the willingness to look slightly ridiculous now and then, your social circle will be thriving in no time. Now go forth and befriend! – Features Desk
