Anna Nordberg

THE WASHINGTON POST – After our son was born seven weeks early, a senior colleague from my husband’s firm showed up in the hospital waiting room. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay,” he said, and handed a Brant a tiny, quilted onesie I still have saved in a box in my son’s closet.

For the next eight weeks, my husband heard from his office exactly once – to remind him to sign up for medical benefits. Allowing him to have that time with family, without worrying about work, is a kindness neither of us has ever forgotten.

The time Brant was able to spend at home was a gift – to me, to our son, but most of all, to him. While our baby was still in the NICU, he would drive from our apartment to the hospital at 3am with tiny bottles of breast milk. When our son came home, Brant swaddled him, changed his diaper, unloaded the dishwasher 700 times. An important part of who he is as a father today is because he was able to be present during those early weeks.

As anyone who has followed the bumpy progress of paid leave in United States (US) President Biden’s now shaky Build Back Better bill knows, the US is the only developed nation without federally mandated paid parental leave. Only 23 per cent of US workers have access to paid leave (89 per cent can access unpaid leave), and a 2018 study found that fewer than five per cent of dads take even two weeks.

But amid these depressing statistics are glimmers of hope. Many US companies now offer generous paternity leave and, more significantly, they actually encourage men to take it.

This matters, because the more we can make it the norm for fathers to take leave, the better off America’s dads (and mums, and frankly everyone) will be.

Shahrouz Tavakoli, who leads a team at Pinterest in San Francisco, was able to take 16 weeks of paid leave when his third child was born in October 2020. Without that time, “I don’t think we would have survived as a family,” he said. Because of the coronavirus, they couldn’t turn to grandparents for help, and his other children, ages six and three, were also home. “We were incredibly lucky to have this support,” said Tavakoli. (On December 8, Pinterest announced new policies that allow all parents to take up to 20 weeks paid leave, including 12 additional weeks if a child is in the NICU, starting in January).

“Paternity leave lays the groundwork for your future relationship with your child. The more you’re involved in the beginning, the more it becomes the norm,” Tavakoli said. As a team leader, “I definitely wanted to model that it’s okay to take time for your family,” he said. He acknowledged how hard it is for parents who don’t have access to the kind of benefits he does.

When Oz Lang’s third daughter was born during the pandemic (he has a three-year-old, and a 13-year-old from a previous marriage), he was able to take 12 weeks of paid leave. “That was such a deep and engaging period to be with my daughter because I saw everything – the first smiles, first laugh; she’d fall asleep on me all the time,” said Lang, who has worked as an executive at multiple tech companies. The time was also positive for his relationship with his three-year-old daughter, who was at home because of the pandemic.

This was in sharp contrast with Lang’s first paternity leave in 2008, when he worked at a start-up and had two weeks of leave. “The transition to new fatherhood isn’t easy – you’re responsible for this living, breathing thing that’s yelling at you – and any serious attempts at parenthood (are hard) if you’re pulled back into work. It all comes at a cost.”

Taking unpaid leave wasn’t a financial option, and when Lang returned to the office, “I found myself unable to be the partner I wanted to be, and as a father, I missed so much.”

Other fathers acknowledged this loss as well. “There was a huge contrast emotionally for me having taken leave with my older son and not with my younger son, in terms of bonding deeply in the first year of life,” said Chris Ray, who took 10 weeks of leave with his first son and then switched to an in-house counsel position at Amazon in Seattle, which did not offer paternity leave when his second son was born in 2015 (the company does now). “Years later, I realised I didn’t fully know what my younger son was like as a baby.”

Paternity leave also makes an enormous difference for mothers. When Matt McNutt, who works as a mental health clinician at Reliant Medical Group in Worcester, Massachusetts, and his partner welcomed a son in November, McNutt began his planned 10-week leave – four weeks of paid leave through his company; one week of paid time off; and an additional five weeks paid through Massachusetts’s child bonding leave. When his partner had post-pregnancy complications and had to return to the hospital, he became the primary caregiver to their newborn son and 22-month-old daughter. “I don’t know what we would have done if I wasn’t able to be home,” he said. “It takes a lot of the stress off because my leave is planned, and my job knows and supports it.”

His ability to be present as a dad also allows his partner to focus on recovery. “I want to do whatever I can to allow her to heal, because she is recovering from a C-section and that’s an eight-week process,” he said.

Every father I spoke to said that paternity leave helped strengthen their relationship with their partner and allowed mothers to recover from childbirth. Marco Keiluweit, a professor at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst who moved to the US from Germany in 2007, took his full 12 weeks of paid leave with each of his children, even if it raised an eyebrow or two among older colleagues.

“A lot of parenting routines establish themselves early, and it’s hard to break out of that because kids get so used to them,” he said. By being present and engaged from the beginning, Keiluweit and his wife were able to develop routines that felt more equal. “You avoid falling into those gender traps,” he said.

Keiluweit said he is grateful that his university has a generous paid leave policy and that for the most part he felt very supported, despite the occasional “Why can’t your wife take care of the baby?” teasing comment from male colleagues.

“I’ve made it clear that being (an engaged father) is something I want to do and want to be,” he said. “We have grad students here that will have children. I want it to be normal to be a professional and a father who is involved.”

Paternity leave policies are also becoming more important to employees. Andrew Galli, who lives outside Sacramento and works at Oracle, was encouraged by his manager to take his full 10 weeks of paid leave when his son was born in 2020, which he split into two parts.

Having that time at home was such a positive experience for his family that he now considers parental benefits as important as salary. “I would think twice about going somewhere that didn’t have leave,” he said.

Joe Byker, who took paternity leave three times at Intuit in the Bay Area, including a 12-week paid leave with his third child, said that support for parents “is a big part of what keeps me engaged and loyal and excited to work here. I get a little choked up thinking about how (my company) threw a baby shower for my wife and me. They celebrated with us”.

Which raises the question – as more of corporate America, plus a handful of states, recognise the importance of paid parental leave for fathers, what happens to dads who are employed elsewhere? The Build Back Better bill offers four weeks of paid family leave, but it’s unlikely to get through the Senate intact. Without even four weeks, most dads face a shoddy patchwork of options at a time when the pandemic has laid bare how important paid leave is for all parents.

It’s well documented how devastating it is for mothers not to have access to paid leave. But as more dads recognise the importance of being engaged fathers – both on a cultural level, in terms of shifting workplace norms, and on a personal level – it’s clear that paternity leave needs to be a part of the conversation. As McNutt puts it: “As a dad, I want to be seen as a caretaker. These are my children.”

G Daniela Galarza

THE WASHINGTON POST – Lamb and mutton are not considered ancestral proteins among Indigenous peoples in North America, according to Navajo (Diné) chef and author Freddie Bitsoie. Unlike other foods that have been consumed for thousands of years, their meat is a relatively new, “centuries-old” tradition.

Today, lamb graze along the plains, mountains and farmsteads of many Native peoples. This is how one story of their arrival goes: “There was a thick fog for four days. No one could see their hand in front of their faces, and people were growing worried and scared,” Bitsoie, whose cookbook, New Native Kitchen: Celebrating Modern Recipes of the American Indian, written with James O Fraioli, said. “But when the fog lifted, little cloud puffs were left behind: the sheep.”

Of course, it was the Spanish who brought sheep to the Americas, and Bitsoie tells me other (not so charming) stories about the cultural exchanges that took place when Europeans arrived on Native land: How chilis, potatoes and tomatoes migrated across the world – and back again. And, how corn conquered all.

A few years ago, Bitsoie was on a television set with cookbook author Lidia Bastianich, filming a show. At one point, he wrote in the book, she turned to him and said, “It’s the Italians who found the niche with ground corn dishes.” Bitsoie took a moment to consider a reply. “I’m sorry Lidia, but I believe it was the Native Americans.” Soon after, he sent her his recipe for a polenta-like porridge made from ground blue cornmeal, or Hopi maize. Versions of the dish existed thousands of years before corn landed on Italy’s shores.

That blue cornmeal, thick and creamy, would be a wonderful accompaniment to many of the generously adaptable, streamlined recipes in New Native Kitchen – accompanied by illustrations by Gabriella Trujillo and photographs by Quentin Bacon – including this one, for Sumac Navajo Leg of Lamb With Onion Sauce.

Sumac, a dried berry that’s native to North America and elsewhere, is widely used by the Diné. Among other things, it’s used to make a porridge, and there’s a cold beverage, a sort of sumac-ade that Bitsoie says he grew up drinking. But he doesn’t remember it being used as a spice on meats.

Inspired by the ingredient’s lemony flavour, he decided to pair it with lamb. It’s a marvelous combination: The tangy sumac forms a burnished crust on the exterior of a leg or shoulder of lamb – tied or untied – and steeps into the meat, balancing its flavours. It’s an incredibly simple preparation, and mostly hands-off.

The accompanying onion sauce, which is subtly sweet and fragrant with rosemary and juniper berries, is based on a memory: “I never met my grandfather, he died when I was 13, but my mom told me many stories about him,” Bitsoie said.

“One of them was that he used to work in the mountains as a cattle and sheep herder. He’d be in the mountains for days, and used to camp out in the middle of nowhere. To feed himself, he’d roast lamb over a fire, and would make a sauce out of a chopped onion that he’d cook down until it fell apart.” Bitsoie added the juniper berries and rosemary because he imagines those scents may have followed his grandfather as he navigated the woods.

“Is it my grandfather’s exact recipe?” Bitsoie asked, rhetorically. “No, and that’s the point.

The book is called New Native Kitchen, because this is a cuisine that’s still evolving and still expanding. It’s not stuck in the past – it’s looking ahead into the future.”

SUMAC NAVAJO LEG OF LAMB WITH ONION SAUCE

Active time: 30 mins | Total time: One hour, 30 mins
Eight servings

Sumac, a small, red, citrusy berry that grows wild throughout North America, adds a lemony brightness to this roasted lamb. The sauce is sweet from caramelised onions and savoury with fresh rosemary, thyme and pine-y juniper berries.

Any kind of large cut of lamb will work here, but a lamb shoulder or leg is ideal. To save time, ask your butcher to tie the roast for you. This isn’t necessary, but it will help it cook evenly and make it easier to slice.

Storage Notes: Refrigerate leftovers for up to four days.

NOTE: If your lamb roast is tall and thick, it may take longer, up to another 40 or so minutes, to reach medium-rare.

INGREDIENTS

For the lamb:
– One leg of lamb or tied lamb roast
– One teaspoon fine salt
– One teaspoon freshly cracked black pepper
– 1/3 cup ground sumac
– Three tablespoons canola oil

For the onion sauce:
– Two tablespoons canola oil
– One large yellow onion, halved and thinly sliced
– Two sprigs fresh thyme
– One sprig fresh rosemary
– Five dried juniper berries
– One teaspoon fine salt
– One teaspoon freshly cracked black pepper
– Water, as needed
– Two cups chicken stock

DIRECTIONS

Make the lamb:
Position a rack in the middle of the oven and preheat to 375 F. Season the lamb on all sides with the salt and pepper, then coat the lamb on all sides with the sumac.

In a large, ovenproof skillet over high heat, heat the oil until it shimmers. Add the meat and sear on all sides until evenly browned, a total of about eight minutes.

Transfer to the oven and roast for about 40 minutes, or until a thermometer inserted into the centre reaches 145 F for medium-rare.

Make the onion sauce:
While the lamb is roasting, in a medium saute pan over high heat, heat the oil until it shimmers. Add the onion, thyme, rosemary, juniper berries, salt and pepper. Lower the heat to medium and cook, stirring often, until onions are soft and brown, about 20 minutes.

If the onions begin to stick or darken in any places, stir in a splash of water and adjust the heat. Once browned, add the stock and simmer until the liquid has reduced by half, about 10 minutes. Remove from the heat and discard the herb stems and juniper berries.

When the lamb is done to your liking, remove it from the oven and let it rest on a cutting board for 10 minutes before slicing. Serve warm, with the onion sauce on the side.

NUTRITION INFORMATION
PER SERVING, (BASED ON EIGHT)

Calories: 272 | Total Fat: 22 g | Saturated Fat: 6 g | Cholesterol: 43 mg | Sodium: 709 mg | Carbohydrates: 7 g | Dietary Fiber: 1 g | Sugars: 3 g | Protein: 12 g.

(This analysis is an estimate based on available ingredients and this preparation. It should not substitute for a dietitian’s or nutritionist’s advice.)