THE WASHINGTON POST – Celine Brewer still remembers the glares when she got on a flight with her baby boy. The people in front of her demanded new seats right away – and then the baby started to cry before the plane even took off. Cue a new demand for different seats.

“I got very angry, and I got very stressed out,” said Brewer, owner of the site Baby Can Travel. She turned on her phone to distract the baby, who fell asleep for the entire flight.

But several years later, she still smarts at the memory of the impatient fellow passengers.

“You guys could have given me an ounce of compassion and a moment to figure this out,” she said.

Strangers’ reactions to wee wailing passengers have gone viral recently, with one man unleashing a string of expletives to a flight attendant, asking if a howling baby had paid “extra to yell.” Earlier this month, the rapper Chika took her complaints to Twitter when a tiny first-class passenger’s cries woke her up.

While commenters send up pleas for child-free flights, the reality is that families with small kids have every right to travel by air. And just like adults might lose their cool on a plane, babies – who, after all, communicate by crying – can’t always keep it together. Experts say sometimes the tears are unavoidable, but they do offer some tips on the best ways to help.

BEFORE THE FLIGHT

Etiquette expert Jackie Vernon-Thompson, founder of From the Inside-Out School of Etiquette, said parents have the responsibility to plan ahead and pack what their baby or toddler might need on a flight to stay comfortable. That could include a crucial blanket, preferred pacifier or favourite stuffed animal.

Parents who have rules against screen time might need to reconsider before flying, she said: “That policy will probably need to be thrown out the window for the flight.”

Flight attendant Sydoni O’Connor and mother of a toddler, said in a TikTok that she started using noise-cancelling headphones for her daughter when she was still an infant who flew frequently.

In an interview, she said that now that her daughter is older and prefers different foods all the time, she’ll bring a little snack tray with six compartments and fill them with “a little bit of everything she’s been liking this week.”

Because a soggy diaper might spark tears, and airplane lavatories are notoriously crowded, Brewer said she always tried to change her kids’ diaper before getting on the plane – a preventive move for short flights, at least. While some strangers prescribe Benadryl for other passengers’ flying babies, Boston Children’s Hospital primary care paediatrician Claire McCarthy said no one should give the medication to a baby without first checking with their doctor.

“It can have side effects, especially if repeated doses are given on long flights,” she said in an e-mail. “Also, sometimes instead of making children sleepy, it can have the opposite effect!”

McCarthy, an assistant professor of paediatrics at Harvard Medical School and spokesperson for the American Academy of Paediatrics, said that if parents have discussed risks and the safest way to give Benadryl, she suggests a trial dose at home in advance to see what effect it has on the baby.

ON THE PLANE

McCarthy said in her e-mail that there are a few reasons babies might cry on a plane, beyond the reasons they cry as part of normal life. They may be in pain because of pressure changes at takeoff and landing; they may be tired and find it difficult to sleep without their normal surroundings; they might want to move around instead of being stuck in a confined space or they might be disoriented and scared.

She said feeding the baby or having them suck on a pacifier when the plane takes off or lands can help with the pressure change. If a baby has a cold or ear infection, acetaminophen or ibuprofen can help because they might be in worse pain. McCarthy said it’s worth trying to tweak a sleep schedule so a baby’s nap takes place during the plane ride, even if that means keeping them awake longer ahead of time. If the baby is still crying on the plane, she said parents should reach into their bag of regular tricks.

“I would suggest trying everything that works at home – at least everything you can do while in the constraints of a plane,” she wrote. “It’s important, obviously, to follow all safety instructions.”

When possible, Brewer said she would try to put her kids in a baby carrier and walk around the plane to soothe them.

Distractions also help, she said, even something as simple as a plastic cup with ice or a spoon or a fellow passenger who is willing to engage the baby. “If there’s some way that they’re offering to help, take it,” she said.

FOR FELLOW FLIERS

Not your baby, not your problem? Not exactly. Fellow passengers or flight attendants can take the situation from bad to worse – or potentially make it better.

Brewer remembers one overnight flight from Calgary to Japan when her 14-month-old son slept for less than an hour.

“We were so exhausted,” she said. “And the lovely flight attendant came over and said, ‘You guys look like you need a break.’”

She took the baby for a walk around the plane, and Brewer remembers being grateful.

O’Connor said that as a flight attendant, she’ll often sit down with a mom whose baby is crying and encourage her, ask if she needs something or just start a conversation about the baby just to move the focus from the tears.

She recognises that people might be concerned about germs, especially given the last few years of pandemic air travel, but she still thinks it’s okay for someone to offer a hand with a baby – or even just to play a game or make a funny face. That kind of interaction helps lighten the mood and make a stressed parent feel less alone, she said.

As a travelling parent, she said she’s had a moment where she was trying to get something from the overhead baggage compartment and someone offered to hold her baby.

“All of a sudden the baby has fallen asleep on the lady and they’re just in love,” she said.

Even if other passengers don’t actively engage, extending compassion or understanding for parents rather than getting agitated can help, Brewer said. – Hannah Sampson

ANN/THE STAR – Novice anglers often face challenges in finding opportunities to learn the ropes. Imagine you’re new to fishing and strike up a friendship with an experienced angler.

You muster the courage to ask them to take you fishing sometime. The response is usually either a straightforward refusal or a vague promise of a future outing that never materialises.

Seasoned anglers tend to shy away from taking beginners on fishing trips because such outings often turn into prolonged instructional sessions. Faced with novices who lack knowledge and skills, experienced anglers end up socially obligated to handle tasks like setting up rigs, baiting hooks, and even unhooking landed fish.

Essentially, they become mentors who double as assistants while their mentees grapple with the fundamentals of handling a rod and line.

Bear in mind that seasoned anglers want to catch fish, too, and will be deprived of the chance when they spend time helping white-belt anglers.

That being the case, how and where will junior anglers then ever find good chances to practise?

To get through this learning curve without imposing on their betters, they need “payponds”.

“Nearly every angler I know started out at payponds. You can spend every day tying knots and rigs at home, but without a fish at the other end of the line, there is little chance to really learn how to fish,” said angler KL Ng, 45, who has been angling for over 20 years.

Ng said he would still occasionally drop by a saltwater paypond in Teluk Panglima Garang, Selangor, to practise fighting fish above 30kg, such as groupers.

“You have to spend time angling and making tonnes of mistakes to learn, develop the needed hand-eye coordination, and clock in enough repetitions (casting the lure or bait thousands of times) for muscle memory to form.

“How to cast without whipping the rod so hard that the bait rips clean off the hook? Which angle in the arc of the cast to release the line to get the optimal distance? How to fight a hooked fish by applying side-strain to stop it from veering left and right?

“Just like how golfers regularly go to the driving range to practise their swings, anglers who treat their passion as a sport also need to regularly practise.

“An actual fishing trip can be seriously expensive, so a paypond is more viable in the name of practice,” Ng said.

The word is not in the dictionary, but search for “paypond” on the internet, and you will find them all over Malaysia. Another way to find them is to search for “kolam bayar” or “kolam pancing”.

Simply put, you pay for the right to fish in these ponds stocked with fish.

Payponds are where you can make a fool of yourself. See for yourself how fish can pull hard enough to unravel a lousily tied knot.

Feel how, because you tighten the fishing reel’s drag too much, a strong fish can snap your line.

“I hear, and I know. I see, and I remember. I do, and I understand. That’s how you learn angling,” stressed Ng.

In a paypond, you can realistically expect to set the hook on at least one large fish, even as a total newbie. By “large”, that will be between five kg and 30kg, if not larger.

It will be a tough fight. Your rod will bend to such an extreme curve that you face the real prospect of helplessly holding on as your rod breaks with a sickening “PIAKKK!”.

In Kamunting, Perak, the owner of two large payponds, Teoh Bee Khoon, asserts that he has released more than 40 tonnes of specimen-size fish into his ponds over the last 10 years, and the largest ever hauled up from his ponds was a giant Mekong catfish weighing over 40kg.

“There are fish deaths, but we don’t keep track of exactly how many fish are in the ponds,” he said.

Not just any fish. Teoh stocks his ponds with giant Mekong catfish, Asian and Amazon redtail catfish, Siamese carp, temoleh (Julien’s golden carp), pacu, giant toman, freshwater barramundi and patin catfish.

These are hard-fighting game fish from around the world, and some of them are non-native species which must not be allowed into Malaysia’s public waterways. Teoh said Fisheries Department officers visited his ponds more than once to make sure there was no chance of the fish escaping.

“The officers reminded us that if we ever cease operations, we must contact them to make arrangements for the fish to be moved to a new, safe location under their care,” Teoh said.

Some payponds, especially those near the sea, are stocked with mostly farmed golden snappers (jenahak) and mangrove jacks (siakap merah) of about one kg which anglers are allowed to bag; these ponds charge a premium fishing fee since the objective is for you to have your fishing fun and eat the fish too.

But the fish in Teoh’s payponds and in other payponds of similar styles are not for sale.

You cannot bag your catches to eat or rear them at home because these ponds have a strict catch-and-release policy. – Arnold Loh