Let’s face it – Hari Raya Aidilfitri doesn’t end after the first bite of ketupat or the first salam with the elders.
In Brunei (and many other parts of Southeast Asia), the celebration stretches far beyond the first week, often morphing into a full-month fiesta filled with open houses, endless kuih trays and family reunions that blur the lines between “last seen in 2010” and “wait, who’s this again?”.
If you’re reading this while adjusting your baju kurung for the umpteenth time or wondering if it’s acceptable to re-serve pineapple tarts for the fifth visit of the day – you’re not alone.
Here’s how to keep the festive flame alive without burning out.
MASTER THE ‘BAJU’ SHUFFLE
By now, your baju collection has seen more outings than you have. Rotate, remix and restyle.
That teal outfit you wore on Day 1? Throw on a different brooch and voila – Day 12 glamour. Got a sibling with similar size? Congratulations, you now have a limited edition Raya wardrobe extension. Sharing is caring and it’s very much in the spirit of Syawal.
Bonus points if you manage to turn a telekung into a fashion statement for the ‘gram. Just don’t forget to tag #RayaOOTD.
DEVELOP ‘KUIH’ RADAR
There’s an unspoken art to detecting the good kuih from the just-for-display ones. Every house has them: the mystery tart that’s been on the same plate since Day 2.
Your mission is to politely navigate around them and hone in on the golden trio – cucur badak, semperit and the ever-seductive tapak kuda.
Pro tip: Aunties always hide the premium stash. Compliment the cushion covers first. Then – and only then – will the fridge open to reveal the chilled delights.
THE STRATEGIC ‘SALAM’
Look, you love your relatives. But by the 37th handshake, your wrists need a break and your vocabulary is on autopilot. “Selamat Hari Raya, maaf zahir dan batin” becomes a chant you can recite backwards.
To spice things up: throw in a twist.
Try a mini-hug with a double cheek tap for your closer cousins. For the elders you aren’t close to? A respectful bow with sincere eye contact. It buys you brownie points and keeps the spirit sincere. Plus, if you’re lucky, it might come with a surprise green packet.
GREEN PACKET ETIQUETTE 101
Speaking of green packets – let’s talk expectations. If you’re giving, remember it’s not about the amount, it’s the thought (and the crispness of the note, let’s be honest). If you’re receiving, do not shake the packet. That’s amateur behaviour.
And for the adults still getting a cheeky packet or two: you’re not alone. We call it “youth at heart” – and we’re running with it until someone makes a law against it.
SMALL TALK SURVIVAL KIT
Open house conversations often orbit the usual planets: “Bila kahwin?”, “Kerja mana sekarang?”, “Eh, makin sihat kamu ah.”
Prepare your answers like a game show contestant – short, sweet and deflective. Bonus if you turn the question back around with a compliment or food suggestion: “Haven’t married yet, but have you tried the rendang? Life-changing.”
Remember, the goal is to redirect – not defend.
DON’T FORGET TO RECHARGE
Yes, Syawal is a time to reconnect, celebrate and share. But it’s also okay to take a breather. If your social battery’s flickering, take a quiet moment.
Sip tea on the balcony, indulge in a solo kuih session, or swap the baju for pyjamas and catch up on your favourite drama (in full Raya make-up – no judgement).
STRETCH THE SPIRIT, NOT JUST THE CELEBRATION
While the month is synonymous with visits and feasting, it’s also a beautiful reminder to keep compassion, forgiveness and generosity going beyond the season.
Call up an old friend, share your extra kuih with a neighbour or volunteer for a cause close to your heart. Raya’s magic isn’t in the decor or the dishes – it’s in the kindness that lingers long after the fairy lights are packed away.
So whether you’re on your 10th open house or plotting your next outfit from the laundry pile, just remember – Raya is what you make of it.
Celebrate with laughter, love and the occasional kuih hoard.
And if you see someone eyeing the last piece of tapak kuda – be the hero. Split it.
Happy (extended) Hari Raya Aidilfitri! – Izah Azahari
