Kindness counts: Parents, teachers tackle bullying together

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ANN/THE STAR – Bullying is a pervasive problem affecting children not only in schools and playgrounds but also in the digital realm. Since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, online bullying has surged, becoming more covert as it spreads through anonymous chats and social media, delivering harmful and hurtful messages.

Alarmingly, both in-person and online bullying show no signs of decreasing, with school-related incidents rising to 5,319 cases by October 2023, compared to 3,887 cases the previous year, according to statistics from the Malaysian Education Ministry’s Sistem Sahsiah Diri Murid (SSDM).

The consequences of bullying are long-lasting, impacting a student’s self-esteem, academic performance, and overall well-being even long after the incidents have ended.

To effectively address bullying, it is crucial to understand its root cause.

During one’s formative years, young individuals are shaped by various internal and external factors that can lead them to act out of character. Factors such as insecurity, exposure to violence and social pressure can lead young people to bully others as a way to gain power or acceptance.

THE ROLE OF SCHOOL

Schools are uniquely positioned to combat bullying and play a pivotal role in shaping young minds, through programmes that promote empathy, respect, compassion and kindness.

By promoting understanding and appreciation of diversity, schools can help reduce bullying incidents.

Resources like counselling and peer support groups provide students with guidance they need to navigate social challenges and build healthy relationships.

Students should also be encouraged to practise values that transform negative behaviours.

This not only fosters personal growth, change and transformation, but also guides individuals to become better versions of themselves.

Students from Soka International School Malaysia (SISM) in a group activity. PHOTO: THE STAR

BE VIGILANT

Soka International School Malaysia (SISM) counsellor Chin Lek Sin said it’s important that teachers and parents are vigilant in recognising bullying.

“Open conversation with the child is crucial to understand the issues and guide them on how to handle it. Trusted adults play a significant role in providing support, whether it’s through teaching children to ignore verbal bullies, reporting incidents to teachers or discussing the issue with a counsellor,” she said. Chin also highlighted the role of teachers in fostering a positive learning atmosphere. “Encouraging pupils to manage their emotions, stay calm, actively listen and communicate clearly, help them handle conflicts effectively,” she said.

She added that recognising and praising positive behaviours are more motivating than punishment and this also helps establish clear expectations.

PARENTAL ROLES

Parents and caregivers should be aware of any bullying cases in school and understand how to support their child if it happens to them.

“Be a listener to your child. Spend time listening to the child and understand what they experience at school.

“Make them feel supported so they are willing to share the cause of bullying,” Chin said.

She said it’s also pertinent that parents talk to the child about bullying, why it is harmful, and the solution. They also need to guide the child on how to treat others with respect and kindness so the child doesn’t become a perpetrator.

“The sign of great parenting is not the child’s behaviour, but the parents’ behaviour. Parents need to be role models to the child on appropriate behaviour and respectful attitude. There are no two ways about it,” she said.

Since children – even teenagers – are often reluctant to disclose bullying, adults close to them need to know possible signs that a child might be bullied.