ANN/THE STAR – As children enter their often-turbulent teenage years, parenting approaches must evolve to address their changing needs.
A common dilemma many parents face is whether to take on a friendlier role, potentially blurring the boundaries between parent and friend.
While fostering a close bond with your teen is crucial, it’s equally important to set clear boundaries that support their well-being and growth.
Studies show that teenagers thrive when parents strike a harmonious balance between warmth and appropriate limits.
The key for parents lies in nurturing a strong personal connection with their child while maintaining the authority and responsibility of an adult caregiver.
It’s important to remember that treating your teen with care and respect doesn’t require relinquishing your role as their guide and protector.
Your role as a parent, rather, should include guidance and authority. Children feel secure when there is a clear authoritative figure in their family. However, this does not mean micromanaging by constantly interfering with your teen’s decision-making processes, as this can be detrimental to their emerging independence.
Setting boundaries does not mean you are not a caring parent. to just helps your child know that it is okay for them to become more independent as they grow up, giving them room to explore on their own.
Furthermore, if you become too “friendly” with your child, the boundaries blur and your ability to set essential rules diminishes. Parents often have to impose rules that teens might not enjoy or may rebel against.
However, setting limits (eg curfew, screen time, appropriate attire, type of social activities) is important for your child’s well-being and safety.
It helps them learn what is safe and appropriate, and what is not. Becoming your child’s BFF (best friend forever) can have unintended consequences.
Children, unprepared for the complexities of the adult world, may feel too much pressure trying to navigate issues beyond their emotional maturity.
It’s vital to avoid burdening them with adult concerns, such as disagreements with your spouse or financial issues, as this can lead to anxiety and disrupt their natural development.
By avoiding excessive sharing of adult problems, you allow your child the space to enjoy their teenage years without the premature responsibilities of adulthood. This approach frees up time for shared activities, creating opportunities to relax, have fun and understand your child’s needs and emotions.
Not only does this build up your teen’s emotional well-being, but it also nurtures a healthy relationship where both guidance and independence coexist harmoniously.
Navigating the challenges of parenting during adolescence is an intricate balancing act, and parents need to remember that you can be caring without having to sacrifice your role as an authoritative figure.
The key is finding the right balance and knowing where to draw the line so that you create a nurturing environment where your teen can flourish. – Dr Thiyagar Nadarajaw
