Hari Raya Aidilfitri is already in its seventh day, and the celebrations continue with joyful gatherings and feasts featuring traditional must-have dishes. As the festivities roll on, hosts are going all out to welcome guests and visitors are eager to join in the merriment and savour the spread.
In the spirit of the season, while enjoying hospitality and togetherness, one should remember to observe proper etiquette and show appreciation during festive visits.
“One important thing to bear in mind is that while it may be an open house, visitors should not come and go as they please. Visitors should avoid prayer times as the host may need to perform prayers or when the lights are off, usually a sign that the open house has ended,” said Asmah Beevi Abdul Rasheed.
For Asmah Beevi and her family, she sees to it that she keeps track of the time and if she is just half an hour away to the closing time, she would give the hosts a call first to see if she still can make it for the open house.
As for her Raya this year, post-pandemic celebrations have returned to how they were in previous years, and she still feels the joy and warmth of the season. The only difference now is in how they choose to celebrate it.
This year, she and her children focused more on togetherness – cooking and decorating the house – which has enlivened the festive spirit.
Meanwhile, Haji Mohd Hussin bin Haji Abdul Rahman shared that family etiquette should not be forgotten during Raya.
It is especially important for the younger generation to respect their elders, and for children to honour their parents if they are still around. House-to-house visits remain a cherished tradition during Raya, but he advised keeping visits short and sweet to allow space for other guests.
While visitors may want to dress to impress, it’s best to dress modestly when attending Hari Raya open houses – out of respect for the hosts and fellow guests. Simple attire is fine, as long as it’s comfortable. And of course, embracing the Raya spirit with traditional Malay outfits like Baju Kurung and Baju Cara Melayu adds to the festive atmosphere.
He also reflected on how the atmosphere of Raya changes from year to year. As the head of a large family, he finds joy not only in gathering with his children and grandchildren but also with new family members as his children grow up and start families of their own. Attending to grandchildren of different ages and personalities only adds to the liveliness of the celebration.
However, there is also a sense of sadness when loved ones are absent. Some children are working or studying abroad, and the longing is only partially soothed through long-distance video calls – a stark contrast to the Raya celebrations of the past.
Another important point, according to Muhammad Amirul Wafiy bin Tahmit, is to never comment on the food being served or suggest how it could be made better. Hosts have their own reasons for choosing their menu, and such suggestions are best saved for another time. He added that it is always good manners to show appreciation – even if not through words, then through visible enjoyment – as nothing brings more joy to a host than seeing guests relish the food they’ve prepared.
The feeling of happiness that comes with Hari Raya is unique each year, especially when shared with his wife and children. Visiting his parents’ home, reconnecting with immediate and extended family, and creating new memories gives him great joy.
“Every change in the celebration brings new experiences, and my family embraces the different vibes of Hari Raya this year. Alhamdulillah, we are grateful to still have the opportunity to visit our parents and loved ones. Just enjoy Hari Raya, be happy with your family, and let go of past disagreements. This is a time to forgive, to strengthen bonds, and to celebrate joy,” Muhammad Amirul Wafiy said.
For Mohammad Hadinee bin Haji Sharbini, it’s also important to eat in moderation – only as much as your stomach can handle. Overindulging might lead to discomfort or worse, and guests should remember not to clear the entire spread – others are coming too.
“Bumping into old friends at open houses can be exciting,” he said, “but remember, you’re there because of the host’s invitation. Even if they say to take your time, it doesn’t mean you should stay the entire day. Save the catch-up chats for another time.”
He also noted that while some open houses get quite crowded, it’s no excuse to skip greeting the host and head straight to the food table. Good manners dictate that you greet the host before partaking in the meal.
And though some houses may allow guests to wear shoes inside, it’s courteous to take note before entering. If there are no shoes outside, it’s likely safe to keep yours on. But if you see a row of shoes, it’s polite to follow suit and remove yours.
“Syukur Alhamdulillah, we are given the opportunity to celebrate Raya, to gather and reconnect with family and friends. Every meeting is a chance to strengthen bonds – and observing good etiquette during Raya visits is a part of that,” he said. – Lyna Mohamad
