How to spot and avoid ‘monkey-barring’ in your relationship
AFP – ‘Monkey-barring’ is a new term gaining traction in the world of dating and relationships.
This intriguing concept, inspired by the way monkeys swing from branch to branch, describes the act of maintaining one relationship while simultaneously exploring another.
This potentially harmful behaviour is often driven by a fear of being single. In the ever-evolving landscape of dating, new terms frequently emerge to define behaviours that can be toxic.
Monkey-barring, in particular, highlights the tendency to cling to one relationship until another is secured, much like swinging from bar to bar on a playground, only letting go when the next one is firmly in hand.
As such, this analogy applies to monkey-barring individuals who waver between two romantic relationships.
Why might they do this?
Quite simply, to explore their options and avoid committing to a partner. This should not be confused with polyamory – or open relationships – which involves having a relationship with several people on a consensual basis.
This form of romantic acrobatics could reflect a deep-seated fear of being single. Dating specialist Hayley Quinn interviewed by Metro UK, explained, “If you’re unsure whether a relationship is for you, there can be a huge temptation to explore another one, while keeping your existing relationship afloat before you jump ship.
“Many people will stick to a relationship that’s not quite right, because the thought of going back to square one is too daunting.”
In the end, people who practise monkey-barring don’t really invest themselves in any of the relationships they’ve got one foot in.
What’s more, they risk hurting their partners, who may emerge from the experience emotionally wounded, with their self-esteem completely shattered.
Fortunately, there are ways to protect yourself from this love trap. The simplest solution is to communicate directly with your partner if you have any doubts.
“If you think this is happening to you, don’t shy away from explicitly stating your expectations around the relationship and always remember your self-worth,” the dating expert told Metro UK.
Like other dating trends, monkey-barring serves yet another reminder of the importance of openness, communication and sincere commitment in relationships to avoid double-dealing.
