ANN/THE STATEMAN – Parenting is not a cakewalk. It is a lifetime role that you play as soon as the kid comes into the world.
It is not just a challenging role, but quite demanding too. You need to understand and deal with many things on a daily basis, that you have never heard or experienced before. And all this calls for an extreme amount of patience and calmness.
Ways to Develop Your Child’s Personality
Many parents think lecturing their children about the dos-and-don’ts is the best way to influence their personality. Children do not pick up values from endless lectures, but from mirroring your behaviour.
Therefore, the best way to give them a confident upbringing is to subtly push the agenda of positive personality traits in day-to-day actions. Here are some ways you can do it.
1. Stay away from labelling
Words make the world. When, as parents, you decide to brand your child for certain behaviour, you unconsciously make the child believe that he or she is indeed like that.
Labelling the child closes their options of correcting themselves also. This may lead to low self-esteem, and the child might end up imitating this behaviour with others around him.
Remember to always be cautious with your words, especially while correcting your child’s mistakes.
2. Be a good listener
Children crave attention all the time. As kids grow, they become more and more independent. Preschoolers and toddlers tend to express themselves more by talking, especially when their language skills are developing. As parents, you can listen to their stories patiently to make them feel confident and secure in your company. This sets precedence for them to be good listeners themselves and also develops their confidence.
3. Be gentle on their shortfalls
Many parents expect their children to excel at everything they do. When children do not match up to their expectations, they express their disappointment in the child in many ways by accusing them of not being competent enough. Each child has a unique capability, and as parents, you must identify and encourage it. You can give gentle assistance to improve the child’s shortcomings without lowering their confidence in themselves.
4. Refrain from comparison
Comparing your child with other friends, relatives, and neighbours can do a great deal of damage to your child’s personality. Constantly comparing the child to someone makes the child believe he is not good enough. Children get confused about their own identity and start mimicking others. Respecting the child’s individuality is undoubtedly the first and foremost step in building their confidence and bringing the best out of them.
5. Model the right behaviour
Children learn what they see, more than what they hear. Therefore, practically implementing things that you advocate will leave a lasting impression on them. Starting from little things like arranging the books back on the shelf to being polite to guests, children follow what you do. If there is any hypocrisy or disagreement in your behaviour, children pick it up very quickly. Therefore, it is very important to practice what you preach.