ANN/THE STAR – Mother of two, Eleda Zaaba, 33, whose seven-year-old son Elyas Adib Azhari has developmental delays, shared that although she had suspicions about his condition since he was five, she didn’t seek help immediately.
During kindergarten, Elyas’ teachers noticed he struggled to follow instructions and often wandered during lessons.
“He was our only child then, and we were new to parenting. Plus, other parents assured us that ‘some kids develop later’ and ‘they’ll catch up,’ so I didn’t pursue it,” Eleda explained.
Earlier this year, when Elyas started Year One at a Chinese school, his teacher informed Eleda that he refused to participate in activities and showed little regard for rules. “That’s when my husband and I knew that we could no longer ignore the issue; we had to find intervention,” she said.
Consultant general and developmental paediatrician Associate Professor Dr Norazlin Kamal Nor said it’s typical that parents find out about developmental delay from their child’s Year One teacher.
“School setting puts a child together with his or her peers, so it’s easy to see who are still left behind in development. When the child is at home, there is no clear comparison that would push parents to seek help,” she said.
Child mental health specialist Dr Nik Raihan Mohammed said many children spend more time with their caregivers than their parents and so, parents can miss picking up on these delays.
Dr Nik Raihan said parents are also not equipped with the knowledge of what kids should be able to do at a certain age.
“Even general practitioners may not know how to check if a child is developing well. Those who can assess this are paediatricians, but not all kids see paediatricians,” she added.
The Malaysian Health Ministry, Dr Nik Raihan said, already has a screening protocol in place for babies and toddlers, but once a child passes two years old (at which point he or she has done almost all vaccinations), parents don’t go to government health clinics to check on their child’s development.“Parents are also overwhelmed with information. There is ‘parenting advice’ everywhere, whether given by other family members or social media influencers, and it can be hard to tell which ones are right,” she said.
EMOTIONAL STRENGTH
Dr Norazlin said for parents, denial before acceptance is common for many reasons.
“Some people are not ready to accept that their child needs intervention, so despite multiple people telling them that they should get him or her checked, they still don’t take action,” she said. “Acceptance is a very emotional decision. You are essentially accepting that your child will have a different trajectory than what you originally thought when he or she was born,” she added.
Looking back, Eleda wishes she did not hesitate to get Elyas’ condition assessed sooner.
“While the initial delay meant we started later than ideal, it also gave us valuable time to understand and appreciate our child’s unique needs. And in future, if we notice anything amiss with our youngest, we will definitely seek assistance without delay,” she said.
As a mother whose child requires therapy, Eleda said accessible intervention is very important. “Affordable options are crucial because they help ease the financial strain on families, ensuring that cost is not a barrier to receiving the necessary help.
Geographical accessibility not only reduces the stress of long commutes but also ensures that children receive consistent and timely interventions,” she said.
Human anatomy expert Associate Professor Dr Cheah Pike See said parents can offer a holistic support for brain growth by providing their kids with a secure environment and good nutrition.
“Proper nourishment and healthy digestion are vital to support the formation of brain cells and neural connections. Parent-child interactions and the quality of early experiences are also important,” she added.
“Providing a nurturing, stimulating and emotionally supportive environment equips a child with the necessary tools to thrive cognitively and emotionally,” she added.
Dr Norazlin encourages families to eat together. “A good routine helps children build stronger attachment to their parents and the family unit,” she said.
“Parents should also know that it’s risky for them to delay seeking help when they sense that their child is not developing on par with his or her peers. Doctors also need to continuously reach out to parents so they know the importance of early intervention so as not to miss out on this five-year window,” she said.
Eleda said parents should be open and honest when seeking help.
“Effective communication, education and support are also crucial. Clear communication with doctors and therapists, along with access to educational resources can help bridge the gap between what parents should do and what they actually do,” she said.
Dr Nik Raihan wishes that parents find out more about how the brain develops and why the first five years of a child’s life is crucial.
“They should also be responsive to their children, know how to respond to their child’s questions in ways that will foster conversations and encourage the child to think,” she said.
“Some parents tell me they don’t play with their children, because they think it’s a waste of time. If only they knew that’s one of the best things they can do for the child,” she concluded. – Syida Lizta Amirul Ihsan
